1607 E. 17th St.
Portland, Sept. 1 - ?10

My dear Hemmer,

As my wife has gone off down town and left me all alone the time seems especially fitting to write a few words to my best girl. Have just finished lunch consisting of bread & butter with apple jelly, cold pancakes and more jelly, a glass of milk, some cheese and a little apple jelly. I've been making apple jelly and expect to make a lot more this afternoon. If you come out to see us we'll give you a whole big glassful all to yourself and give you a spoon and let you get off in a corner if you want and do your best to get away with it. While I was lunching as per above Elinor was sitting in her high chair opposite to me looking wistfully at every bite I put into my mouth, and when I reminded her it was not her lunch time yet she started to chew the head off her rubber doll. She is certainly a cute youngster even if I am her Papa. That reminds me that her Papa is specially cute looking himself at the present time -- so cute looking, in fact, that a young lady fainted at the sight of me the other day. You can imagine the effect is really overcoming when you have just had a clean shave -- two weeks ago --; and when you have daubed all the visible portion of your face with a white liquid which gives it a beautifully ghostlike hue; and when your face is swelled out of all semblance to its usual handsome outlines with one eye closed up for repairs, etc etc -- well, the fact remains that my niece Hilda keeled right over with the most dramatic shriek when they came to see us last Saturday. My ivy poisoning is almost all well now, thank you, and I expect to take another shave, a brand new one, tomorrow.

Nell tells me that I had slighted you by forgetting to send you a postal when I sent them to the others. Well, Hemmer, if I really did omit yours it certainly was a big mistake on my part as I thought I had sent at least one postal all round to every one on my list, and I herewith humbly beg your pardon. but here's a letter instead, and I'll send you a postal soon besides.

My wife has returned from her shopping tour and says I mustn't write to other girls. Says she will write herself tomorrow.

I suppose you are about to start school again -- a whole, big junior, I believe. That reminds me that Elinor has nearly completed her freshman year, -- and she certainly is a freshman. She is up to one stunt or another all the time. No doubt you folks notice a difference by her absence. Next year being her sophomore year, we expect that her course will include, among other things, Physics, Henderson Introductory English, and an applied course in physical anatomy, assisted if necessary by the use of poles, straps (slippers) etc.

Give our love to all the folks. Nell says she'll write tomorrow.

Aleck.